Friday, 9 September 2011

Texts From A Crazy Person

A couple of months ago I was going to Edinburgh for a night out with a couple of pals. Sadly for the past few months my finances have been at an all time low, so with this in mind I was traveling to Edinburgh via the cheapest method available, bus. I was running late by the time I got to the station and unfortunatly I didn't have time to buy a magazine or a newspaper for the journey down. So after just barely making the bus, I boarded, sat in my seat, turned on my i-pod and stared into space for 3 hours. Or at least that was the plan. About 20 minutes into my journey I received a text, a text from a number I didn't recognise. Over the course of the next 2 hours I named this texter "Crazy Person."
This was our conversation:

Ok, I should point out at this point I was suspicious immediately. Granted my book is indeed pure genius, but the fact that some random girl would text and tell me that seems highly unlikely. 
And where it is also true that I am a legend at Tapas Towers,  I again found it extremely doubtful that someone would text me and say that. But I was bored on a bus, and with nothing else to do, I decided to engage this crazy person.

What's the worst that could happen?


I was starting to get a bit concerned at this point, what if this really was a genuinly crazy person? I was fairly certain that it was either Adam or Jonny Torpedo. But what if I was wrong? I didn't want to arrive in Edinburgh to find a crazy person waiting for me at the bus station.

That's not me showing off. My friend Jonny Mountain is a big fan of my cock. CLICK HERE if you don't believe me. (That's not a link to anything pornographic or anything)

The Crazy person then started calling, and calling. In fact he called me 9 times. I didn't answer once.

Then he started leaving me voice mails.
If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

The worrying thing about this message was I didn't recognise the voice.

At this point I started to become slightly scared. Turn around? Why should I turn around? Is this person on the bus with me? Is this really a crazy person? Oh god was I about to be killed? I turned round slowly and cautiously and surveyed the other passengers. None of them looked like a crazy person, by this point in our conversation I was convinced that this texter was in fact Jonny Torpedo, but he wasn't on the bus either.

And then came the admission.

I knew it was him all along.


While I am glad that Jonny Torpedo has read Fifty Envelopes, it does worry me that he came up with all these sexual suggestions with me in mind.

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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