Texts From A Crazy Person

A couple of months ago I was going to Edinburgh for a night out with a couple of pals. Sadly for the past few months my finances have been at an all time low, so with this in mind I was traveling to Edinburgh via the cheapest method available, bus. I was running late by the time I got to the station and unfortunatly I didn't have time to buy a magazine or a newspaper for the journey down. So after just barely making the bus, I boarded, sat in my seat, turned on my i-pod and stared into space for 3 hours. Or at least that was the plan. About 20 minutes into my journey I received a text, a text from a number I didn't recognise. Over the course of the next 2 hours I named this texter "Crazy Person."

This was our conversation:

Ok, I should point out at this point I was suspicious immediately. Granted my book is indeed pure genius, but the fact that some random girl would text and tell me that seems highly unlikely. 

And where it is also true that I am a legend at Tapas Towers,  I again found it extremely doubtful that someone would text me and say that. But I was bored on a bus, and with nothing else to do, I decided to engage this crazy person.

What's the worst that could happen?

 

I was starting to get a bit concerned at this point, what if this really was a genuinly crazy person? I was fairly certain that it was either Adam or Jonny Torpedo. But what if I was wrong? I didn't want to arrive in Edinburgh to find a crazy person waiting for me at the bus station.

That's not me showing off. My friend Jonny Mountain is a big fan of my cock. CLICK HERE if you don't believe me. (That's not a link to anything pornographic or anything)

The Crazy person then started calling, and calling. In fact he called me 9 times. I didn't answer once.

Then he started leaving me voice mails.

If you can't see the video above then stop reading this crap on facebook and CLICK HERE

The worrying thing about this message was I didn't recognise the voice.

 

At this point I started to become slightly scared. Turn around? Why should I turn around? Is this person on the bus with me? Is this really a crazy person? Oh god was I about to be killed? I turned round slowly and cautiously and surveyed the other passengers. None of them looked like a crazy person, by this point in our conversation I was convinced that this texter was in fact Jonny Torpedo, but he wasn't on the bus either.

And then came the admission.

I knew it was him all along.

Mostly. 

While I am glad that Jonny Torpedo has read Fifty Envelopes, it does worry me that he came up with all these sexual suggestions with me in mind.


That's All For Now


Until Next Time


Have A Nice


Andy G


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A New Review of Fifty Envelopes!

As regular readers might be aware, I am nearly finished my next book, The Wedding Blogger. The proof copy has been ordered and all that needs to be done now is fix the inevitable 200 problems that will no doubt occur. I was uploading the file to LULU.com, the print on demand website where my book will be released when I noticed that my first book Fifty Envelopes had a new review. And a very good one. So good infact I thought I would share it with you today.

Ratings & Reviews

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Lulu Sales Rank: 35141

Your Rating:

2 People Reviewed This Item

Jul. 7, 2011 By laura venables

I couldn't put this book down, it was so funny. At a fiver it is well worth a punt even if you don't like it, you will though, it's ace. As the author leads you through the journey that his 50 envelopes took him on you'll be enthralled and also in stitches. I have never met the author or worked with him and he has not paid me to write this glowing review. In fact he has actually never bought me a drink ever. Why am I being nice about his book.... it is really good though and apparently he needs the money.

How ace is that?

It's almost as good as the first review the book received, way back in September 2010.

Sep. 4, 2010 By andy

The Greatest book I have ever written!

A big thank you to Laura Venables, who ever you are.

Remember people Fifty Envelopes is still available to buy for a mere £5.(Plus Postage & Packaging)

CLICK HERE to take you to the site

And if you buy it TODAY ONLY (August 27th) You can recieve a 20% discount using dicount code: SCHOOLEDUK

You know it makes sense

That's All For Now

Until Next Time

Have A Nice

Andy G

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